belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
