Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
