Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
