I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
