I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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