hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
and she was petting her beer can
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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