I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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