I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
