just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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