i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
