no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I need to stop coming to work sober
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
