Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I can't put those talents on a resume
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
