I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
