i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
