I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
