she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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