why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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