she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I want her autograph on my taint
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
