Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
