I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
did i walk over a car last night?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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