Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
