Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
