She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
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