She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
