Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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