Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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