how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He shit in the fireplace
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
