I can't watch pbs sober anymore
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Never underestimate the power of titties
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
