peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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