We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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