his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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