He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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