I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
