Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
