We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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