Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
