If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
