I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
