ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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