I'm going to jail i love you
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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