i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
