woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
