someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
