whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You made out with two different species that night
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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