I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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