Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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