I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
