i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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