And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
