New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
