In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
