if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
