i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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