There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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